On Monday we had another heartbreaking step in this journey. We went to register Lexi’s birth. I hadn’t appreciated how hard it was going to be.
Waiting and waiting and then finally the test result showed. PREGNANT. I remember giving a squeal of excitement. After nearly a year of trying we were finally expecting baby number 3. We have always wanted a big family. Friends and family often joking we’d end up with a football team. How naive we were to expect we could decide how many children we would have to fill our home and hearts.
“The most likely outcome is your daughter will die.”
The words even now 7 weeks later echo in my head.
In the early hours of Sunday 17th December, it was seemingly all any of the doctors I saw said to me. It was the beginning of a nightmare we are now fighting our way through, attempting each day to survive. And what do you say when someone is repeatedly telling you that your precious 2 day old baby, born perfectly healthy is now more likely to die than survive. It was the start of a lack of words.